/lounge/ - Lounge

>>61932
This summer...

Everyone's favorite war...

Is returning to the big screen

Cuts to a Jewish man hiding under his floor boards voiced by Adam Sandler: "Well this sucks!"

Ke$ha starts playing WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE P DIDDY

Flyora Gaishun wakes for the morning as he is carried away by nazis, again. He nonchalantly yawns and stretches "well, it beats walking"

Nazi officer, voiced by Jack Black "COME ON YOU MAGGOTS! LETS SHOW THEM HOW BAD LE WAR REALLY IS!"

DONT STOP MAKE IT POP
DJ BLOW MY SPEAKERS UP
TONIGHT IMA FIGHT TILL WE SEE THE SUNLIGHT

*montage of war being le bad*
*shots of le damaged war faces*
*shots of nazis bashing babies over rocks*

Flyora Gaishun is on his knees looking at a nazi officer as a building is lit ablaze behind them
"So who talks first you? You talk first? Or I talk first"?"
*back hands him*
Random Nazi in the background played by Gilbert Gottfried
"YIKES, that's gotta hurt!!"

THIS SUMMER

WAR IS GONNA BE

*Jewish man doing a head spin*

"LIIIIIITTTTT"

*Evil nazi scientist in a science lab laughing in a comically evil way"

"Nazi officer skiing down a hill and hitting a tree in slapstick fashion"

ITS GONNA BE-

Strong female lead kicks Hitler in the balls
Hitler: "RIGHT IN THE FUHRER" *crosses his legs and falls over*

Nazi guard dressed in a pink dress twerking alone in a mirror, another nazi walks in *music cuts out*

*awkward silence*

"UHHHHHHH hi Klaus"

"UHHHHHHHHH hey Hans"

Shot of everyone dancing to the dance number at the end of the movie

THIS SUMMER, WAR WILL BE LE BAD... AGAIN

COME AND SEE: PART 2

>>61942
>>61935
>Go to see The Lady in the Van, rated 12A starring Maggie Smith, in 3D
>Go with my mum to get past NSP
>the commander of the cinema vanguard flirts with my mum openly
>"what's a gorgeous young woman like you doing with a schmuck like him"
>realize the commander is jewish
>he throws my mum to the troops for them to pass around
>forced to masturbate to prove we're a romantic couple
>the ordeal is finally over and we are let through the cinema gatehouse
>my mum is still pulling on her clothes as we walk up the tree lined avenue through the perfectly manicured cinema grounds
>despite the beautiful scenery, guards wielding laser halberds with unclipped-cock seeking automatic targetting systems line the road
>as we reach the front aunting the valets appear at our sides to take our car to the parking area
>we went on foot, so I just gave the black valet my home keys and our address for "liability purposes"
>after purchasing our tickets (1000 yuan paid in monthly installments direct to the people's republic of china)
>we strip off our clothes and feed them into the incinerator
>step onto the conveyor belt for decontamination
>my mother's geiger count is off the chart
>she gets tipped into the incinerator too
>I'm showing normal levels of radiation so they just throw lime on me to burn away my parasites
>they give me a set of plastic cinema pyjamas
>hand me me a receipt for the gold fillings and jewelry my mother had
>receipt says a donation has been made in your name to PETA
>step into the movie pod
>pod ascends into the theatre mothership
>feel a slight bump as the energy fields descend into hyperspace
>fields find traction and we begin to accelerate into the heavens
>as we reach lightspeed I see the movie projected onto pluto from hubble projector stationed at a lagrange point between jupiter and the sun
>by the time we circumnavigate the sun the next scene is showing
>whole film is blue-shifted because the pilot was going too fast

Maggie Smith was charming as always

>>63223
<after-credits scene
<hitler is retired and sitting comfortably in his mountaintop retreat with eva, their son and daughter running around playing with the doggos
<real doctors found a way to subside the rising ailments of parkinsons so that he can have a better chance to live in old age but he's still too weak to carry on ruling
<the help shows up to alert the family that the new fuhrer has come to visit
<they turn around to their guest, all smiles, and hitler says "ah, der fuhrer reinhard heydrich"
<fade to black

Derrick time :)