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Ultimate Manchildren's Playpen
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 No.1600[Last 50 Posts]

So uh…my uh….my friend got this thing a short time ago like I said. It's a device that is supposedly able to reduce plaque in the veins of the penis that can constrict blood flow and compromise the ability to have uh…normal function. I-..my friend has suffered intimacy issues his entire life and I… he did a lot of secondhand research on acoustic wave therapy for male intimacy issues which has existed for a decade or so, by now. However, because healthcare in the US is in a bad way for wagies these days it wasn't realistic to pursue this treatment. This device is comparable to those used in clinics, just with some safety features to prevent laypeople from injuring themselves.

I've…my friend only used it once so far because despite the fact that he'd bought it back in late December today was the first day my-my friend's parents were both away.

My friend informed me that it was loud and scary at first but an ultimately painless and simple process. He's looking forward to seeing if his results mimic those of the many totally-not-paid testimonials on the website. Thank you for reading this story about my friend's unfortunate problem, he was hoping to start a family some day and he thinks this might be his only shot


I'm glad your friends penis may get the treatment he deserves. Tbh I think I might have had the same problem growing up that he did, the wrong method of mastirbating he has mentioned here before, when I didn't know better.

I am not overly concerned as it is not too likely I will change my ways / be able to keep a relationship anyway having grown up on the loners path, but the few times I had sex it hurt kinda bad depending on the position


drink more water, watch your blood sugar and dont, absolutely do not fap on a full stomach


File: 1644536147097.jpeg (273.87 KB, 782x618, 7858A320-E109-4EE2-8CF0-4….jpeg)

Thanks for the advice, I'm changing my diet around, no more snacks at work (I would often have a single 1oz bag of chips or cookies at work but I will eschew even that frivolity). I won't be eating fast food with my parents anymore either (my diet up to this point was basically intermittent fasting-but eating fast food shit when I got home from work). Even if the portions were never excessive it's gotta be messing with my macros bruh. I am also exercising like a madman to counter the fact that I am an aging creepy incel with terrible optics that almost seem tailor-made for femoid rejection. I am going to live these next 6 months or so as if my…friend's success with the above device is an absolute certainty even though nothing could be further from the truth. I'm doing all this because uh, I've got to be my friend's wingman at the club right? ha ha


Your friend should make a youtube channel about it, and maybe even take penis treatment sponsorships to get his money back, and complete the cycle of predatory advertisements aimed at desperate men.


Not bad angle…for my friend to take…


a hot gay mouth can do this job just as well, love


File: 1647446531285.jpg (74.46 KB, 1080x495, a5a5b888e996f1355280554f3a….jpg)

Update on penis status?


My friend has only been using it half as often as directed because his mommy doesn't leave the house often and he's too embarrassed/cowardly to talk to his parents about it and use it when his parents are home. He did mention having a solid morning wood incident for the first time in a long while recently but that's been largely the extent of it so far…So he says


what would happen if a guy with a normal functioning penis used it? would he develop penile superpowers?


Judging by how it supposedly works it could perhaps function as a preventative, keeping you from becoming the kind of sad person who would pay $1000 for a weird plastic rocket ship that supposedly makes you able to do what normal people can already do without thinking about it.


Why are you people so fucking gay holy shit.


Men's health is not gay!




Leave that person whom is certainly not now nor has ever been me alone…


if you're here you must also be gay


snake oil dick dildo spaceship, kikes are winning because fags like you consider buying this shite


Does this thing also help prophylactically with Peyronie's disease? Because that's caused by plaques accumulating over time as well, so it'd be interesting if it were applied to studies about that too.


File: 1647528376822.jpeg (163.62 KB, 1200x1199, 230CF6B6-AAA4-4A06-998D-3….jpeg)

It does claim to; in the instructions it tells you to go across the inner curve of your afflicted banana twice rather than going on the top "1 o'clcok" position.


File: 1647529150424.jpeg (72.98 KB, 749x876, B79D9116-FEBF-4EE9-95AD-0….jpeg)

It's based on "shockwave therapy" which is a treatment that has been researched over the past couple decades and, supposedly, has proven benefiicial for the majority of those receiving it.


>Wang and colleagues [Wang et al. 2003]



Shrek is dreck.


FoKy is the spammer

cool numberes btw


lOL BRUH is there really anything wrong with u tho? were u on psych drugs or eat the paper on the preserved straz meat?

If its just "premature ejaculation" there are other females and AFAB people who finnish way too early too.


File: 1649265713663.jpg (10.57 KB, 183x275, 40 Year Old Incel.jpg)

Nah I jerked my wiener wrong when I was younger (Look into "prone masturbation" if you have absolutely nothing better to do), I'm legitimately injured from that I think. I mean…MY FRIEND IS!


>prone masturbation
well why not just rub dick on external parts of the person then? why is penetration the only goal of u ppl, if i cant do it by trying on ur own, those phoenix scams that also require 20 minutes of cock pumping a day totally are not gonna work cuz iu need practice, not some fake shitty scam combinations.

Like i had a weird masturbation style, and as i lost my virginity, after years of practice with no outside help, only me, no objects, i could learn to finish eventhough i had no emotions/arousal from for ed psych drugging and the sex was horrible a s i wanted to die all the time(still wanna die, but its not as bad now cuz i dont have to fuck my evil horrible gross deformed husband cuz he just cheated on me with whores while married eventhoufh i gave penetration every single day)


fill this out >>5711


I have PE. Good to know it doesn't matter to insane Australian women.


I got repulsed when it asked me my "favorite band", thas normie shit


Just omit the stuff you don't feel like answering


what do you mean by album tho?


File: 1650223792797.jpg (9.79 KB, 225x225, images.jpg)

i have a better suggestion. use toned tan, it fits thematically as well.


I love my toned tan sketchpads. They're too nice though so I don't use them. H-…heh!


The <5% yes in actual African countries makes me lol heh


it makes sense since those are the non-black countries with the longest history of dealing with blacks


File: 1650255079234.jpg (101.62 KB, 540x380, DS-page1.jpg)

The only reason I started using them was because of the dynamic sketching courses with peter han. It's such a nice background to work with, do you feel the same?


Yeah starting with a nice midtone like that really is a game changer, but for people who just started to draw I usually recommend using as cheap-shit materials as possible. Where he recommends toned paper and Staedtler fineliner felt-tip pens I say office paper on a clipboard and a mechanical pencil is sufficient to get similar results. However, as you get a little better and you actually start "drawing" in earnest the toned paper is great.


yo hiv what kind of business were u musing on starting


File: 1652033644795.jpg (120.91 KB, 640x514, DAMAGED.jpg)

I like how you chose this of all threads to ask me that! If u email me I will tell u heh


we're gonna need to have a meeting if u ask people to email you on this service again



sent ;)


bumping this thread to shamefully admit the device has remained unused more or less because my mom never leaves the house and I'm too cowardly to speak truth to (penile) power.



She'll understand.


File: 1653876145876.jpeg (110.59 KB, 659x519, B275EDF0-3FE2-4111-B812-D….jpeg)

Yeah you're right, I'll tell her tomorrow. I'm officially closer to 40 than 30 now, I don't have much time left to be a coward


>deleting your post about the n-word v-logger


Just play loud music while you use it to cover up the noise


I wonder if thad made any friends in prison


>>old enough to be impotent yet
>>still living at home.


>>never growing up and being cucked by your mom and day every day
>>pretending you prefer this


It is funny and pathetic so I can't blame you for laughing, but for the record I was impotent in my early 20s tbh. I'd have likely been married with children by now with my first serious gf if that wasn't the case. I've been fucked for a while, man.


It depends, having some independence is good, man. I spend almost as much money on my parents through groceries and other stuff as I would on an apartment, if my dad had any intention of paying the house off this wouldn't be upsetting at all, instead whatever I spend on the family just goes down a black hole of increased spending. Boomers, man.


Pretty much this, if you have introverted parents that respect your privacy and who are themselves independent, living with your parents is probably fine. That's uh...not what I have. I'm a 40 year old man that sleeps on a couch in his parents' living room while being constantly bothered with boomer nonsense. I still love them despite their MANY faults but at the end of the day this is no way for somebody to live ngl tbh


Take the RV pill. Live in their yard.


Go educate and get educated with a lobotomy at school.


sorry mang. (about the wiener issue) have you seen a doctor? what happened?

that sounds like hell. of course you love your parents but that's not the point. I love my parents and I left for college and never came back, except for visits. there is a reason that when we become teenagers the shit our parents do drives us nuts and the shit we do drives our parents nuts. it has nothing to do with love/hate it is evolutionary.

this would be better than nothing. a first step at least. really though go get an apartment.. roommates if you have to. move states if it costs too much where you live. don't give up.


>>there is a reason that when we become teenagers the shit our parents do drives us nuts and the shit we do drives our parents nuts. it has nothing to do with love/hate it is evolutionary.
>so asians and italians are less evolved than anglos and nords?
how about tax exempt amerimutts?


I'm mortgaging a house with my brother, and it has ruined my life. I wish I could kick him out and sell it. I miss living with my mother every day.


azns and wops experience this also but come from a very different culture than america. but yes they are also subhumans.

living with roommates teaches you valuable adult skills you'll never learn in the parent-child paradigm. I didn't say it was always fun. I hated my roommates mostly but it inspired me to work to afford a place of my own.

having a mortgage with someone you aren't married to is insanity. sounds like you couldn't afford to buy so made a costly mistake.


The doctor I saw tried to get me hooked on anti-depressants and I count it as a formative experience in my hesitance to ever trust them for anything. No joke, I didn't say shit about being depressed or anything like that either (even though I was-but for a very specific, non-chemical-imbalance reason of course. LOL). This was over a decade ago and I've been watching and waiting for the technology supposedly in use in the device in the OP to mature for quite a few years now.


>hows that any better than living with his parents
I did move out for a few years with a couple friends and on God it wasn't much better than living with my folks. I mean, it was better and even kind of fun at times, but when you have roommates their problems become your problems in a similar way. My one roommate was "depressed" so he never did any of the chores-or much of anything-and both of them would go out late at night and come home drunk af on what were my work days and be rowdy while I was trying to sleep. I saw the humor in it for the most part though and we're still friends to this day. The worst part probably was that neither of them had a car so they were often begging me for rides to the grocery store and shit so they didn't have to spend $40 on an Uber or Lyft


Do tell. I don't think I'd like living with my brother much either even though we're on pretty good terms these days.


>waiting for the technology supposedly in use in the device in the OP to mature for quite a few years now
The root of your problems may lie elsewhere. You can fix your dick and still be a depressed man with no self confidence. Its kinda like how trans people are super depressed and they think getting sex reassignment surgery will magically fix all their problems but post operation theyre still depressed. Because there are other underlying issues. Idk I could be wrong since obviously don't know you personally but I just think not being able to get hard shouldn't be enough for you to put your whole life on pause for so long.


post your cock so we can compliment it and make you feel better




Moving out isn't an option for now but I would probably be a lot better off with some distance from my family situation.

I can physically feel the tension in my body when I am at home with my parents and just having to be around my mom makes my skin crawl sometimes even though we get along okay nowadays. When I went away for school I got a lot more done and when I qould come home I was besieged by asthma and sluggishness


Basically, I moved back to Florida and I was going to use my savings to buy a plot of land and live inna woods like I've always wanted to since I was a child, but the lease was about to expire on the house my brother was renting and they were going to charge him more rent, so my mother suggested that we get a duplex instead. I figured maybe it was a good idea, because with a duplex I could rent out to multiple tenants someday or I could rent half the duplex and live in the other half practically for free, so I gave in. We were never able to find a duplex we could afford though, and one day my mother guilted me into buying a house that was being sold for cheap from a couple going through a divorce. To be clear it's under the name of both me and my mother, and she helped with the payments. I would not have done it alone. In any case, it's far removed from what I wanted.

So why did I buy it? Because it was time-sensitive, my mother was sick of us being there, and my brother wouldn't have been able to find a place he could afford on his own. Yes, I am an idiot for falling for it. Why do I hate living with my brother? Because even though he does pay toward the mortgage, he doesn't clean up after himself, he doesn't take care of anything, and he's a pain to deal with. He already attempted suicide, so it's hard to even press him about anything. While he over-all wasn't that bad before and we've practically always had a good relationship, over the last year especially he keeps having psychotic breaks, which he denies, constantly accusing people of 'schemes', 'gaslighting', and 'powerplays', or acting like he's being pressed over the smallest comments. He's not diagnosed with anything, because he doesn't want to see anybody, but I honestly am beginning to think he's a straight up schizo. While it's been a major reason I want to leave, it's also been a major reason for me not leaving. It's fucked. I'm going to try to go before the end of the year. I can't take it anymore, and he makes more than enough money to afford to pay the bills alone now.


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is he a drug user/abuser?


Yes, your Highness


Just weed as far as I know, all day every day.


Weedheads belong in prison!


fuck off rottentits




That's disgusting. I couldn't live with someone like that.


The noise is too loud and embarrassing and my parents never leave so I guess I'm going to have to rent out a walk-in outdoor storage unit to use this thingy in. That way the only people who could catch me are unrelated boomers and they'd probably just think I'm working on my car or something h-heh


Just play music when you use it


And then end up on the sex offender registry lol


I dont have whatever money for this alien dildo shit, could I not just put my dick on a speaker or some shit?


File: 1654707599957.gif (2.58 MB, 416x307, all me btw.gif)

Not a bad idea, would save me money in the long run but in truth I kind of need a storage unit anyway for my growing inventory. If I can use it as a place where I jerk my wiener off for medical purposes I guess that's just a bonus but admittedly I haven't worked the logistics out. I used to have a storage unit that was basically a garage for $100 and I tried to use it as an office; I'll probably do something similar again heh.

5-/60hz 0.8A

24V 1200mA

Also I'm not sure where I could park where I wouldn't be at risk of having a run in with drug dealers or people just driving around, you know? Ultimately it's probably the best play for my current living arrangement even though it's a tremendous waste of money thinking of it logically.

I don't mind the car idea but it is loud (as much or more as a vacuum I think) and it's actually quite a large device so it's not something you could conceal without blocking out the windows or something, somehow. A treatment session takes a good half hour straight so you gotta be somewhere you know is safe in a way.

>could I not just put my dick on a speaker or some shit?
I doubt it, something about the device making contact is important I'm sure. Also there's some specific areas you don't want to treat with it, particularly the very bottom of your benis because it will shrek your urethra, so I don't think resting your junk on a high powered sub woofer will accomplish the same goals.


>storage unit with electricity is $170 a month


Thanks man. Not a bad idea. It really is loud though, I think it's closer to a power tool than a vacuum. I just don't think I can make it work in public either way without some kind of real cover. IT'S OVER.


Pitch a tent in a campground for concealment while you're pitching a tent.


Yes, Master.


I'm not surprised even a little, this "side effect" has likely been known for as long as the practice has existed. The (((doctors))) tried to get my mom to abort me apparently so the fact they relented to simply slicing half my cock off to effectively sterilize me and maybe get me to kill myself instead doesn't register as unusual.



the feel when man


Post webm of you using this device


Yes, my Lord


Y-...yes, your Highness...


Take meds skitzo.


I think this thing made my flaccid pingas bigger


fake avid leech cunt


I think it's working ngl
>t. had solid "morning wood" this morning for the first time in what seems like a long time

I wonder if I have Peyronie's tho

>t. in a semi-chub state yesterday while I was using the device my d*ck had sort of an accordion shape for a moment smgdh!


Add christianity flag since you already have jew flag and Muslim flag


looks like things are on the up and up for you, thats good to hear


I'm moving out soon. One week from now if all goes according to plan. I'm kind of anxious though because I think this retarded fucking thing is so loud my neighbors will hear it and I might still have to rely on my parents going away to use it without being worried about what people think I'm doing heh. l-...lol!



your neighbors won't know what it is and you won't be obligated to explain it to them


pee pee space ship


Imagine a group of flaccid men doing an exotic tribal dance around the pee pee space ship, praying for erections.


I'm drooling at the thought


hey hiv check ur protonmail i hav a favor to ask


I could probably do that, I'll email you back when I get the opportunity heh


thx, ill raise it to $30 for initial pay, ill have a lot more later of course if it works out


also theres a very high chance you'll never get called anyway because ill refuse to give any #s until i have an offer at the end (ill let u know prior if i get that far), and even with a manager's referral (tho from a different department) im very doubtful ill get an offer


You don't have to give me anything, it's enough that you'd taken care of this place as long as you have, no worries.


>HDV selling the site to Mossad for 30 dollars, alluding to Judas and his 30 pieces of silver
It's like poetry, it rhymes.


That's not h'what's happening but I lol'd none the h'less


Poor Family Sanctions


The entire goddamn place is just allowed to be as smart as a goddamn prison.


i'll need your confirmation by tomorrow if you're up for it, the deadline i'm given to submit it is tomorrow night


Sent u my info h-heh. I'll try and make it convincing


hiv selling the site to the feds confirmed
knew this place was a honeyp*t


HDVPP update: Some decent morning h'wood today heh. I still haven't invested in the iodine salt or vitamins though because I lost my debit card and am still waiting for a new one to arrive smdh. I found my black walnut tincture and will be taking some of that as well soon, as I haven't been dreaming as regularly or as vividly.


I've deigned to use the device at my parents' home regardless of whether they're around or not. I wanted to spare them the annoyance of the comically loud thing and myself the shame but it's simply too much to expect either of them to leave the house for 20 minutes at a time for my sake a few times a week.


Good. You've broken past the precipice.


do the vibrations not make you coom?


File: 1664469362524.jpeg (135.97 KB, 490x960, F219DBB7-E2F8-41D6-A6C0-D….jpeg)

It doesn't feel sexual at all, it's more a general discomforting feeling. Its supposed purpose is to create micro-traumas in the uh...member that breaks up existing plaques and increases vascularity/forms alternate routes for the blood to travel heh

After nearly a year of owning this goofy thing I will finally be using it as-recommended so I'm interested to see if things improve a bit.

>now I just have to figure out how to cope with the fact my circumcision has robbed me of any and all sexual pleasure I might have otherwise felt


Imma hide this weirdass thread now


>Its supposed purpose is to create micro-traumas in the uh...member that breaks up existing plaques and increases vascularity/forms alternate routes for the blood to travel heh
Speaking of which, have you tried just doing more cardio?


I run/jog/walk 4 miles a day and stand/intentionally pace at work for 10 and a half hours. Admittedly I don't do too much intense cardio though so maybe that could be something to think about.


kill yourself you disgusting nonce faggot



so did it work


suck my cock.


Not sure yet, I've only just begun treatment as-recommended. Going to take a few months for a real final review unfortunately smdh. I've also purchased generic viagra online aha


I thought viagra was banned or something


Be careful, if you take too much a blue dot will appear in the center of your vision.
t. Knower


Why don't you just diet and exercise? That will keep your cock plaque plenty low enough and someone might actually want to fuck you with the physique you get from it.


Read the thread, nigger.


File: 1664820192586.jpg (314.82 KB, 1026x1055, Screenshot_20221003-190306….jpg)

i pooped and farted and shit myself


A typical day for redditcucky.


Thanks for the suggestions, I'm in very good shape though. I haven't met my "genetic potential" entirely I'm sure but I have lots of muscle definition throughout my body and am at a healthy weight. While I'm using this treatment assuming some kind of plaque interference, I also think my c*ck suffered some sort of physical trauma when I was younger, I masturbated wrong (prone masturbation) and I'm circumcised to hell and back. Even if I do fix the mechanical process there's still lots of psychological damage not only from failed attempts in the past but the lack of gratification I personally get out of it. I'm just documenting my attempts at unfucking myself I guess, knowing in advance it's a long shot.

I'm terrified I'll get with a girl I really like and not be able to perform l-...lol!


le rebbit

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