It's not "retard-proof", but the short of it is you use wyrebash and LOOT to merge mods and sort your load-order.Don't ask me how, I forgot
Sometimes it is just easier to sort the load order or merge stuff in the data folder yourself if you have a good idea of what the problem is. Oblivion really lacks community support these days. The tools for Skyrim are so much better. Fans made a new engine for Daggerfall and Morrowind, Bethesda made a new Engine for Skyrim with SE, but Oblivion gets nothing. Skyblivion(remaking Oblivion in Skyrim) is a dumb effort in my opinion. I really enjoy the skyrim modding scene, but you can't remake a lot of what makes Oblivion distinct in Skyrim, and it's probably less effort (although perhaps more difficult) to just make a new engine for Oblivion like DFU or OMW.